Be a better father, husband, son, friend, brother, uncle…
Be the man you have always wanted to be. Sounds great,
but how do you actually make that happen?
Getting there takes some time and effort and you can start right now.
You need to be ready to take action in your life.
There are some critical concepts and distinctions that you need to learn about
through these simple rules. If you consider them and are truly honest,
it will get you solidly on the road to living the life you want.
The Simple Rules:
• Do not apologize. That does not mean you should not be accountable for your actions.
You should take what you do and the effect those actions have on others very very seriously.
But you should own them. Saying “I’m sorry” is like asking for a get of jail free card.
In the end it is meaningless and disempowering. Saying I’m sorry is like saying you didn’t mean to do what you did.
If you are being really honest with yourself you will realize that you did mean to do what you did.
You might not like the results but at the time you made a decision to act as your acted. Now be a big boy and own that.
If you did someone wrong step up to the plate and make the wrong right.
• Do not take things personally. Even if it feels personal, you need to embrace that you are just the vehicle for someone
else working out their own shit. Nothing is ever really about you unless you make it so.
• Separate the emotion and story from the facts. One way to ensure you are not taking things personally is to be able to
step back and distinguish what just happened from the story you have created around what just happened and all the emotions
that are charging up that story.
• Never say never. The biggest blind spot most of us have is putting our foot down and taking a stand against something.
It is very easy to be against something but much harder to be in support of something. Before you draw a line in the sand
around something you will never do understand the context behind the circumstance. What is the bigger picture that may be served?
Most of us would never kill another human being. But if doing so meant you could spare the life of your child, or tens of thousands
of others, would that change your mind?
• Context is everything. The worst reason to do something is because “this is the way it has always been done.”
The second worst reason is, “because I said so.” Understand why you are doing what you are being asked to do.
If it does not conform to your higher purpose you need to have a conversation so you can figure out how the task will
actually meet your needs.
• Act from commitment not obligation. It is okay to be selfish. We should find a payoff in everything we do.
Even if it is as simple as just feeling good about ourselves. However, you need to be honest about the payoff.
If you are not, you run the risk of being dissatisfied, frustrated and resentful. There is no shame in asking for what you want or need.
You might not get it but if you don’t ask, it is pretty certain you have no chance of getting it at all.
It is never about what you know. Too many people trap themselves in
following a path where they think they already have the answer.
Have you ever enjoyed a movie when you go in knowing how it will end? I always learn more from listening then speaking and
feel a greater accomplishment from taking on a fear rather than dominating something I’ve already mastered.
The satisfaction of a hard fought victory or even a loss will trump the feeling from an easy win any time.
Losing motivates me to win. Winning motivates me to celebrate. If I celebrate too long I lose sight of the reason I
wanted to win in the first place.
• Learn to love failure. See above. You’ve actually only failed if you didn’t take in any lessons from the experience.
• Never go it alone. This should be self evident. If not, ask for help in understanding this.